The Blessing of Betrayal

As a youngster I loved to visit my great uncle. He was like a grandfather to me. His farm was within walking distance. Looking for him one fall day when I was about 10 or 11, I found him in the apple orchard out behind his big red barn. What he was doing shocked me. With a huge stick in his hands, he was whacking away at the apple trees. It was scary. I thought my kindly Uncle Elmer had gone berserk. But he didn't look mad. There he was methodically beating the daylights out of the apple trees. I couldn't imagine what vile deed the trees must have done to deserve such treatment. Finally, my uncle saw me and smiling at my confusion, explained to me. "Sometimes you have to shock these old trees that aren't giving much fruit into thinking they are going to die. Then they get busy and start really producing the fruit." Years later telling this to a friend who was an expert on fruit trees, he explained that the bruising that storms bring, and routine pruning prompt the trees to produce chemicals that stimulate their growth and fruitfulness. After helping my Uncle Elmer prune the trees till it looked like there was more of the limbs on the ground than what was left on the trees, he said, "Now there is room for growth and where there is new life, there will be new fruit. You just watch and see what happens next year. I love the apples these trees produce." I couldn't imagine waiting a year for anything at that age. But sure enough as the seasons passed, the apple crop the next year was outstanding, in taste and quantity. 

Sometimes when I find myself being pounded and punched by circumstances and people, I think about those trees. Many times I am shocked that God would permit me to go through experiences that are painful, that reduce, and often seem undeserved. I remember that John 15:2 declares, "Every branch in me that does not bear fruit He takes away. Every branch that does bear fruit, He prunes, that it might bear more fruit." It's inevitable. It's part of what the Holy Spirit does. He sets us up, so He can set us right. Somehow when we have sinned, it's easier to take. But there are those occasions, when we can rack our brain and not come up with any reason to be taking a beating. God is doing a necessary and redemptive work. If we collapse in anger and self-pity, we are in danger of missing the benefit of God's strange work. We can't make it go faster, but we can make it last longer. 

In this season, God is provoking me to intimacy, to reduce me to dependency, to grow me to greater maturity and fruitfulness. 

Over the years, more than once I have been caught in the agony of being accused of some real or imagined sin by someone I counted as a dear friend only to realize that no matter what I said or did, trust had been ruptured and relationship wounded. Consequentially, reconciliation and the possibility of rebuilding trust hemoraged away while slander and gossip impugned me and the fruit of years of relationship and partnership evaporated away. One doesn't have to lie to slander someone. All that is done is to tell the truth but with a design to hurt. Just raising a question mark over someone's head is all it takes for folks to imagine the worst. Of course there is something wrong with everyone. But the assignment is to see love cover sin. Not to go sloppy, but to be redemptive. Galatians 6:1, reminds us that more than just identifying the problem we are to be instrumental in resourcing the solution. There is always the boomerang of judgement. "Judge not less you be judged with the same judgement wherewith you judge."

 

The devastation of betrayal comes not from the hand of a stranger, but from a friend. Psalms 55:12-14. "For it was not an enemy who betrayed me, then I could bear it. Nor was it one who hates me who has come against me. I could hide from him. But it was you, my friend, my companion. We were so close in fellowship and labor. We worked in ministry together." 

It is recorded in scripture that Abel was betrayed and murdered by his brother, Esau by his twin, Issac by his son, Uriah by his king, Jesus by his disciples, Paul by his brethern. It is not unusal for God to permit such a painful thing. So should we become wary and paranoid, dig a moat around ourselves and fill it full of alligators? No. Can we forget that Judas betrayal set Jesus up to fulfill the prophecy of God's salvation. 1 Peter 1:6,7 It is necessary to be refined through the painful heat of trials. The furnace of affliction will reduce our wood, hay, and stubble to ashes. But ashes only burn once. We should be careful not to assign blame for our pain on others. Ultimately, if God has permitted the trouble, it's for good and not for ill. 

Romans 8:28,29 God causes all things to work together for good. Even what came from our rebellion and sin, when submitted to the work of the cross, and covered by the blood, God will superintend over all of it in such a way as to bring a redemptive outcome. He wants us to be and do like Jesus. More than our comfort, God is interested in our development. Joseph was betrayed by his brothers, sold as a slave, befriended by Potiphar, betrayed by his wife, and unjustly imprisoned. The years passed by as he was imprisoned. After befriending the butler, Joseph was betrayed again as the butler forgot his promise. As the years passed by Joseph refused to give in to self-pity and bitterness. Finally, Joseph is on the throne of Eygpt when his brothers show up for aid. While he had the power and authority to take revenge, he said, "What you meant for evil, God meant for good, that many might be saved." Genesis 50:20

 

If you find yourself betrayed by a friend, remember God could have intervened but He didn't. God has allowed these seasons of pruning to produce greater fruitfulness in us. Hardship delivers us from dependence on anything or anyone other than God. That is a blessing. God is not mean, He is merciful. 

Betrayal hurts. Our grief is not because a stranger has hurt us, but because it was someone we love. Let's pray for God to forgive us and them. If I don't forgive others, God won't forgive me. When I refuse to forgive I burn the very bridge I have to cross over. God will never ask me to forgive someone else more than what He has forgiven me. I pray for greater fruitfulness and restored relationships. God help me not to sabotage it.